The perverted Irish writer that I admire,
Oscar Wilde, said even while he was in exile,
"I don't regret for a single moment having lived for pleasure."
For example, if there were a popularity poll for girls' bathing suits,
what would be number one?
I am contemplating that eternal human question every day.
But among as many choices as there are stars,
the swimming race bathing suits have a certain magical charm.
I came to this conclusion in July of my sophomore year—
Hey, Yokodera.
The tyrannic ruler of our club who rules with an iron fist,
the captain of the track club, the Steel King.
I-It's not what you think! I wasn't looking on purpose.
I just happened to be... No, it was an accident!
No, it's some kind of conspiracy! Someone is trying to frame me!
What in the world are you talking about?
More importantly, I've made a decision.
You are worthy of being my heir.
I'm telling you I'm innoc—
Huh? Heir?
I decree...
that I choose Yokodera Yoto to succeed me as track club captain.
Wh-Why...
Yokodera Yoto,
since you joined our club, you haven't missed a single day,
and vigilantly perform squats daily.
Um, well, that's...
...because I want to see bathing suits as long as possible.
I would like you to follow his example in loving this club.
C-Captain! I think there might be a huge misunderstanding...
Really?
U-Um... By that, I mean that I have something I love more than the track club...
Like life and every man's dream...
As I keep saying, I'm talking about bathing suits.
Something you love more than track?
Do enlighten me.
U-Um, the reason I joined the track club wasn't because I love or hate track...
That wasn't... why....
This isn't good.
At this rate, I'll have the extreme burden of being the captain.
If I don't speak the truth now, I'll regret it forever.
I was brought into this world to become your heir, Captain!
To be the next captain is an amazing honor!
I humbly accept!
Hentai-san and the Stony Cat
There's nothing wrong with being appreciated
by someone that beautiful, though.
That's not the issue here.
I always end up hiding how I really feel before it leaves my mouth.
You mean your facade and how you really feel.
I just want to think about girls!
Forget being captain! Forget the club, even!
I just want to spend my life making out with girls!
You're trying to waste your life on worldly desires.
Yokodera, there's something I'd like to give to you.
This is...
Happy New Year!
First Experience of the Year
The legendary Happy New Year! First Experience of the Year complete collection!
Street Corner Bathing Suits
And this is the super rare Street Corner Bathing Suits selection!
Seinen Comic
And the alluring yellow circle!
Aren't these treasures that you've never taken outside?
Yoko, I have left the path of Ero.
What are you saying, Ponta?!
Where did you leave the promise
we made that day towards our hopes and dreams with girls?!
Hey, sexy boy, there are many children suffering in poverty all over the world.
As a fellow human being, I cannot stand idly by and do nothing.
R-Right...
I ask you as my friend from childhood.
Please take these for a hundred yen!
A hundred yen?!
If I have a hundred yen, I can give the children forty liters of water.
We'll be another step closer to world peace!
What the heck happened, Ponta?
You know the Stony Cat statue on the hill with the single cedar tree?
The Stony Cat...
If you give it an offering,
it'll give something you don't need to someone else who needs it.
At this rate, I felt like I would never be able
The Legendary Hugging Pillow: Blue-eyed Margaret-san
to become a decent human being.
The thing I don't need is, of course, worldly desires.
So I offered my hugging pillow
which was taking up space and then, wouldn't you know it...
I was freed of my worldly desires and felt completely refreshed.
World peace for the win!
I guess it's free to just make a wish...
The thing I don't need... is my facade.
The Legendary Hugging Pillow: Barbara-san Clad in Flames
Because of this stupid facade, I can't live freely!
I want to spend more time thinking about girls.
I want to see girls in lots more ways.
I want to become more friendly with girls
both inside their skirts and out!
What a weird-looking cat.
It's not coming loose...
Hentai-san!
Huh?! Wait, wait! You're mistaken!
It's not a mistake and it's not even in my vision!
Because in this setting, I didn't see anything at all!
Did you say "setting"?!
And this setting is going to change for sure later, right?!
Of course it is! Policemen around the world are on my side!
You're totally misunderstanding things!
If you sit down with me and talk this out slowly,
carefully and in detail, you'll understand!
No! No!
I won't do anything like that if love isn't involved!
What do you mean by "anything like that"?!
I'll be gentle if you just stay quiet!
I don't want you to be gentle or rough!
I'm super unlucky right now!
And I'm telling you this is a misunderstanding!
Ow...
I'm not appealing at all.
I'm skinny, and flat, and clumsy...
And I'm the puniest in my class for body measurements.
If you wait a couple of years, I'll probably be more appealing, so...
I wanted to stay clean until then...
Listen. Barbara-san is just a hugging pillow.
I'm innocent, and I've never assaulted a girl.
My body is pure.
If you're a harmless and pure person,
I'd like for you to get off of me quickly, please.
R-Right.
Um, I didn't mean to scare you.
It was, um... just how things went.
I'm sorry.
So sorry.
What's with that?
Even your method of apology makes you seem like Hentai-san.
I see, your facade.
Yeah... I was thinking about asking the cat statue about that.
Apparently, that rumor is quite famous.
Thanks.
Munch, munch munch.
By the way, the rule of my household is
"Once a man has shamed you, make him take responsibility."
So please be prepared for that.
Huh?!
I'm kidding.
You don't have to sound so disturbed.
Er, this is also due to my facade or whatever.
On the inside, I'm super happy about it!
So, you're going to take responsibility, then?
Huh? U-Uh...
I'm kidding.
You really can't handle your facade and true feelings well, can you?
Yeah... Sorry.
Munch, munch.
So what brought you here?
I want to be more mature.
Someone who doesn't get mad or cry easily,
and can hide their emotions.
I think it's cuter when a girl is honest with her emotions.
That's not true!
No one wants a kid!
Really?
Do you want to go visit the statue together?
May I stop telling lies and putting up this facade.
May my true feelings stop showing on my face so much.
What was that?
Huh?
Did you steal one of my meat buns?
Huh? I just ate the one you gave me.
I see...
One of my midnight snack meat buns is gone.
You're still not done eating...
Barbara-san's belt is gone!
That means I'll have to hold her all the way home...
Oh! But that means I can practice carrying a girl like a princess.
You really are Hentai-san.
W-Well, nothing happened, so let's go home.
Yes.
How naïve we were.
We were the ones who made the wishes,
but we ignored the Stony Cat's powers.
Summer is all about...
Bra lines visible from underneath girls' blouses,
and the smell of sweat hinting at eros.
You sure are talkative first thing this morning.
Azuki-san! I love you! I'm totally in love with you!
They're at it again... Azuki Azusa reward time.
Please go out with me!
Who's that?
Really? She's the transfer student who came here this spring.
She's super tall and gorgeous, so she's always getting asked out.
I had no idea.
I usually have morning practice this early.
Oh, yeah, how's your club—
Go out with you, huh?
And?
Even flamingos do a mating dance.
Are you telling me that's all you have?
Huh?
Even myna birds can say words.
Show me how you feel with your actions!
I'm not asking you to drive me around in a Rolls-Royce
or lay out the red carpet for me in front of the school.
For example, if I were to call for you, would you be
able to come to me immediately, day or night?
Would you be able to sacrifice everything and serve me like a humble butler?
See? I thought not.
Th-Thank you very much!
Nothing less from the young lady!
It could be because Azuki Azusa grew up as a lady,
I want my reward, too!
I want her to rip into me, too!
but she's insanely picky.
She turns them down mercilessly,
but some guys seem to be into that,
and they've been calling this "reward time."
Well, she may act like she's all that, but she sure is flat as a board.
Huh?
That's weird... What I was thinking just came out...
Really, now?
You sure say some funny things.
It's as if I were bitten by an untrained dog, and it was rather pleasant.
But seriously... even up close...
Let's go over there and talk for a while, shall we?
N-No worries! I definitely prefer bigger ones,
but being flat-chested is a status,
and there are even those who prefer that.
Not to mention, you probably don't even need bras!
They'll never droop or anything,
since there's nothing to droop in the first place!
You're so lucky, super flat-chest!
I-I'll be going now!
Ow...
You seem to be having a lot of fun.
Who are you? Stay out of the way!
Silence! You're the one in the way.
This man must now choose life or death. In other words, "dead or die."
Dead... or die?
Yay! Having two girls fight over me is like a dream...
Hey, Yokodera!
Why did you skip morning practice without notice?
W-Well, a lot happened last night, and I overslept...
That outfit is not good! That outfit is bad!
What are you babbling about?
Why in the world are you wearing shorts, Captain?!
Where are your leggings? The leggings you wear all the time?!
You want to ruin the binding fetishism of our youth?!
Take those off right now and change into your leggings!
You... thoughtless woman!
Hen... tai...
And from that moment on, I was called the Hentai Prince.
See ya later, Hentai Prince!
Totally don't want to be like that loser.
How pitiful...
Why does everything I think come out of my mouth?
Damn it!
This means I'll have to cheer up by watching old-school
Idol Bathing Suit Competitions that I have recorded!
Overflowing memories and overflowing boobs!
You're a Hentai-san, like everyone says.
Who are you?
Why are you staring like that?
You're even more of a Hentai-san than they say.
No, I'm not! Who are you?
Maybe you'll remember if I do this.
Ow...
If someone sees us like this, they'll talk about me again...
"Again"?
I see. So that wasn't your first time.
You're truly, seriously, totally...
a Hentai-san.
Are you the girl who was at the cedar tree?
My name is Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko.
And now, would you get off of me? It's rather embarrassing.
Embarrassing?
Yes.
So embarrassing I could die.
Ever since we made our wishes to the cat statue,
I haven't been able to make facial expressions very well.
Meaning, my belt went away with my facade...
And my expressions were stolen by the cat statue along with my meat bun.
To think it actually had those powers...
My wish came true so well that it's troubling.
If I can't make facial expressions at all, it's going to affect my daily life.
Please give me back my expressions. I beg of you.
I think... it's too late.
Didn't the rumor regarding the Stony Cat say that
it'd give something you didn't want to someone else who needed it?
Yes.
Meaning my facade has already been given to someone,
and we don't know how to get your expressions back from the statue.
So...
So what should we do?
Does that mean I'm stuck like this forever?
What's going to happen to me?
Hey, wait a sec!
I know of an easy way to make you laugh!
What is it?
It's... this!
Laugh, laugh, laugh! Do you need more?
This sort of makes me look like a real pervert.
Not "like"!
I'm very sorry!
Jeez...
However, I thought of something.
Huh?
The cat statue gives away something you don't need.
So then I just have to have someone who thinks
their facade is troublesome make a wish.
Then it'll give you the facade that you need, Senpai.
Yes, exactly!
That's exactly what I wanted to say, and that's why I tickled you!
Senpai, are you really sorry?
Not at all!
Huh?
Goodness, you're rather forward.
At this rate, things will be very hard for you, Hentai-san.
I guess I have no other choice but to help you
find someone who doesn't need their facade.
Is that all right?
Yeah, then...
Let's find someone who wants to get rid of their expressions, too.
This is how my cooperative deal with Tsutsukakushi was established.
So...
What happened today?
I thought I'd test out if
the Steel King was troubled with a facade problem or not.
Good morning!
Ah, Yokodera.
Have you been cured of your illness of perversio—
Captain!
What grade did your boobs start getting so big? In elementa—
You fiend.
Die. Die three more times.
Well, since the Steel King could hit me without hesitation,
she has no problem showing her true feelings.
Ow, ow, ow! Cold!
I understand we need to find someone who can't say how they really feel,
but I have a feeling there's a better way...
So noisy...
You're the pervert from the other day!
Hey, Azuki Azusa!
Did you sleep well?
Don't talk to me, pervert!
Why are you asking me that, pervert?!
Because I can see traces of drool on your face.
Once you're a princess, even drool is a fashion statement, right?
I-It is! I'd appreciate it if you didn't point out such unnecessary things!
That's like giving a fluffy penguin a down blanket!
So, why's your blouse slightly unbuttoned?
And why's your skirt pulled up?
Is that an invitation for me?
There's no way a princess wouldn't be aware of her personal appearance,
so it's gotta be on purpose, right?
O-Of course!
I'm sorry.
May I inquire as to the status of your relationship?
R-Relationship? With this pervert?
Oh, come on. There's no way a princess like you
would be wild enough to seduce someone you didn't know.
You pervert!
Y-You're right.
I guess if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours... or something?
G-Good day!
It's gotta be tough to be so proud.
I see. So "if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," huh?
Please stop kicking!
It was really funny, so I went a bit too far.
I'm sorry!
So you don't have a relationship with her?
Of course not! She totally hates me!
If we were alone in a room together, there would be a murder.
What's wrong?
It's just that she was unable to say what
she really wanted to say just because I was present.
It was almost unnatural.
Meaning, in the presence of others, she can only put up a facade.
That reminds me... I ended up calling her flat-chested in front of everyone.
You said that?
You really are a hopeless Hentai-san.
But she didn't get mad.
She's got to maintain her regal facade around others.
But a facade that strong isn't normal.
And the choker she's wearing
looks a lot like the belt that disappeared in front of the Stony Cat.
Meaning...
Right. The reason Azuki Azusa can't say what she's really thinking
is because she's the very person who received my facade.
Okay! Then, all I have to do
is somehow get my facade back from Azuki Azusa...
I wonder if it'll go that easily.
Huh?
The reason she received your facade was because she needed it.
Then it probably won't go so easily...
That can't be!
It's only right to return something to its rightful owner!
But...
I'll be back later!
Senpai...
It's true that Azuki Azusa might be a tough opponent.
But I'm getting punched and kicked and going through all this trouble.
I won't be satisfied until I tell her what's on my mind.
Azuki Azusa!
Give back that which is precious to me!
There's something I figured out by looking at you!
That you stole everything I am from me!
Take responsibility!
Wha?!
Y-You pervert, what are you talking about?!
W-Well, actions speak louder than words.
What could you do for me?
Flaunting the facade that I lost...
Damn it!
I want to steal everything you are, Azuki Azusa!
Everything?!
So... keep me by your side!
By my side?!
Twenty-four/seven, anytime, everywhere and anywhere.
A-A-A-A-A-Anywhere?!
If you should feel in kind, bare yourself, body and soul, to me,
so that we might share in that which we hold dear!
Nothing less from the perviest of pervs.
The Hentai Prince is at it again.
Azuki Azusa.
You said that actions speak louder than words, right?
H-Hey...
Wh-What are you doing?!
Woof!
If I can be by your side, I'll become your dog!
What's Azuki-san going to do?
A proposal from the Hentai Prince is definitely on another level...
No, no way...
It's just plain perverted.
What am I going to do if this shows up in my dreams?
I don't want to be stuck with a pervert forever...
No way!
Y-Yay... Goodie...
I'm about as happy as a cheetah that's been all tied up.
The unbeatable princess has been defeated!
And so, to get my facade back,
True love has been realized here!
What a great story!
I job-changed from a prince to a dog.
A Hentai-san through and through...
Fairy-san Doesn't Get Angry
Next time: "Fairy-san Doesn't Get Angry"